Hey neighbor, how you like your new home?" "It's fine, how you doing?" Just pause right there for a second. I'm waiting for the B74 bus trying to get back home, have a lot of stuff on my mind. My headphones are on. My wallet and cellphone lock inside my pocket. My chain hidden underneath my shirt. My schoolbad is bunckle around my chest. Praying the bus will be here soon. My heart is pounding and my eyes is wandering around to see new faces. I know deep inside of me, people are watching me and thinking who i am. It is a 20 minutes ride home. The feeling I have inside of me, needs hopes and a mix feeling of fear and happiness. There are 100 eyes on me and every eye tells me something, but what exactly is that something?
I remember three weeks ago before school start, i was playing basketball with my friend, John Li at Coney Island. We both were brave enought to stop through the park and chill. I had a feeling everything will just go fine, until these two little kids approach us. We ball for a while and something happen. We got into some sort of a fight. The two little kids called their "big brother" over, but i ignore them. "Were the kids trying to scare us away because we were bigger than them?" I was not really sure what was running on the kids mind, which leads me to a horrible feeling. Something horrible did happen. The big brother along with his four huge friends went wild on us. He didnt let me explain what happen and he just fuck with us. "I am 17 years old. Does he realize i am older than them? I was thinking were the "big brother" nervous when he talk to me?" I was know how i feel inside but actually dont know what he may be thinking for sure. "How do I know if he really wants to hurt us or just want to show off he is not a pussy and step up to his brother?" I was trapped inside my mind and dont know what is my next step...
Anyway, I think all of this connects to Banach's idea of "Absolute individuality." Mr. David Banach pointed out some major points of how we are trapped inside our own mind, not able to realize or predict what other people are really thinking. We could only understand ourselves. We are stuck on our "islands of subjectivity" which means we can only see our own point of view and cant really judge other people sense. "Only we feel our pains, our pleasures, our hopes, and fears immediately, subjectively, from the inside. Other people only see us from the outside, objectively, and hard as we may try, we can only see them from the outside. No one else can feel what we feel, and we cannot feel what is going on in any one else's mind." Makes perfect sense right? David Banach is trying to explain how our mind cannot really flow inside someone's mind, cant actually feel what that person is thinking. For example, it is true if that person really love you but only you? How you know for sure? How can our feeling be connected with someone else's mind? When can we ever leave our "island of subjectivity?"
*thinking*I love my new home, sir.
but not this...
neighborhood!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
hey Quin,
ReplyDeleteFirst off i loved your post, you have away with creating a voice in the readers head and bring them into your situations. i also liked how you combined two different encounters together to explain how Banach's ideas related to you. I think you are right I think that thought people put on a front when around others, they may feel a different way in the inside like the bully in your story and I think that was a great way to give a real life example to one of Banach"s ideas. You have a great way with formulating a story. And I agreed with all the points you made about what Banach may have meant when he defines the "absolute indivisual" and "absolute freedom".
cool real real cool
mahogany